9 days seems like a lifetime

And I have been away for the entire time. I'm tired. Life has a lot going on. I've been thinking about what matters...its all pretty relative I guess. So why does it bother me what other people think? Its only because their backward ass thought processes tend to reinforce hurtful systems that don't help them and ultimately affect me. My heart is bleeding out of my chest for these assholes. I saw this movie "Idiocracy"...the movie was total crap but the concept is so completely relevant its terrifying in its own way. Basically, an average guy and a hooker are frozen in a military experiment, forgotten about for 500 years, then wake up to a world where morons have overpopulated the earth, corporations have taken over and they find themselves the smartest people in the world. blah blah blah they end up fixing a few things and thats about it. imagine a world where the least educated, forgotten group of poverty stricken folks continue to just breed uncontrollably. where brand names and giant superstores and sex and violence are all that matter.. oh wait..fuck.
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we discovered a big billiards place up el Camino from us. It may have been too expensive but I think the beers are to blame for that. It was fun, low pressure and something different.


neither of us are very good at pool, so it was a pretty even playing field.
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Some random pictures from the past week.
Pacman produce



a cat that is most likely potty trained



which is the real one eyed dog?



can i help you?

shelter babies




and the sweet sweet candy Mona got for her birthday

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Barrett and I went to the Body Art Expo in Daly City to get some tattoos and visit our buddy Chris, who was up with the guys who own the shop he works at now. It was a pretty odd experience. I mean I consider myself a pretty calm and patient person, but it was really hard to center myself there. The booth was like an 8x8 section of the hall, with one guy getting tattooed about a foot from me, me laying diagonal on the bed getting my shin done, Chris, and the other 2 artists stuffed in the corners and two other shop employees hangin out, not to mention the million people walking by. Every booth had their own stereo system, there were a zillion different guns going at once, the hall had a main PA playing music,and their was a band playing outside...overkill perhaps. It was interesting for sure. I failed to get a picture of the 7 year old with the full upper body fake tattoo, or the full rib piece a guy was getting of Rick James, or the eleven million dudes with no shirts on. I did however, get these..
The shop's banner. The guy on the right is Julius, he had the pleasure of tattooing Barrett's feet.



pain...major pain



it says Live Free, one word per foot. It turned out fucking great.

Chris had drawn up ideas for both my shins, but we were running short on time so I just had one done for now. I'm hoping I can go down and get the other done soon.





imagine being kicked in the shin by a leprechaun with steel toed boots for like two hours....it probably feels like that. I know the final product pic is sort of swollen and red. I'll get a new one up when it heals. I'm so freaking excited about this one and the next one. Chris keeps getting better and better every time we see him. i love it.

random thoughtlets

We've had a member of the education department shadowing us for the past few days. Her work primarily involves speaking with groups of kids and showing the happier side of what an animal shelter can do. Our work involves educating the public too, but often it comes in unhappier climes. Her reactions to some of the things we had to tell people about their animals and the legalities of running a shelter were pretty interesting. I remember starting out and being amazed/shocked at the same things. Have I grown callous? No, I still feel the same emotion at having to tell someone that we have to put their aggressive pet down if they have no other option than leaving it with us. I feel helpless. I am the one typing in the euthanasia request and processing the payment and doing the interview to ultimately come to that decision with the owner. My heart aches that we cannot help every being that walks through our doors by keeping them alive. The sad part is that not every being is happy and healthy living in the world their "masters" have created for them. A world of fear, anxiety, and aggression towards other animals and people. Nobody deserves to live that way and sadly most often cannot be re-conditioned to trust and love. At this I feel intense anger at the incompetent part of the pet-owning public. "Why does my dog eat his own stool and spin in circles chasing his tail?" Because you leave him locked in the backyard half the time and the other half crated in the garage. "Why can't you train my dog-aggressive pet to be part of society again?" Because thanks to you and your years of neglect and lack of socialization, your dog has reverted back to its animal hunting days, and everything that moves is now its prey. "Well, all he really needs is a good family with a huge farm" If only every person that walked through the door owned a farm instead of a breed restrictive condo that they can barely afford. Oh, by the way, would you like to make a donation.....

its not all what it seems

I've been thinking about a lot of things. Things I have known but have been forced to push to the back of my mind....
To set the mood...take a look at these peaceful flowers I found outside of Barrett's work....a pleasing little buffer planted for people in their cars driving by to not have to stare at the giant parking lot.



Don't get me wrong, I like flowers....but I understand urban planning.

Now how bout some other things that act as live advertisements for the "American dream" lifestyle. Distractions.
Alcohol ads. Living the "good life". Partying. Getting away from anything having any responsibility attached to it. Getting Laid. Objectifying people. Letting us know that all our hard work in dead end jobs deserves another cold brain numbing pacifying bottle. Fuck, its natural..even the animals love beer.





Or...how about diamonds. One of the most destructive status symbols. The mining for diamonds looks like this.


Is this something we really need? Can you even imagine how much heavy machinery and explosives were used here. How much oil it took to power those machines. How dangerous it is to the workers. How many indigenous animals were driven from their homes. All in the name of having people stare at you..boosting your ego because you think you are better than them. Hurting theirs and contributing to the mindset that we are not equal, those with the biggest pieces of flashy jewelry win.
If I were ever given a diamond, I'd take it as an insult.

What about making everything "disposable" and "ready-made"? We cannot be bothered to wash something and use it again. And who's got the time to actually cook a meal? We are constantly being told that in the name of sanitary hygienic life that we must only use something once, then simply throw it away...out of sight, out of mind. Forget about the landfills poisoning water tables, air, wildlife..

Many of the disposable products are non-recyclable, non-renewable, cheap to produce, and ultimately do not break down for hundreds or thousands of years. Some of the worst offenders:


and let's not forget about everything we can recycle..but don't. it's not that hard, just put it into the bin NEXT TO the bin you throw everything else in.

Why do we think its OK to throw anything away at all? Where do we think it all goes?Why do we as a society think somebody else will take care of it. Why are we so above it all...

three day sick leave

i did this all day the other day.... among other things...and cutting out words. see soon.


Mona, Nicole, Trisha, Danny, Barrett and I visited the Cinebar on tuesday. It had been a long time since we'd seen Chris. He's got a gnarly stache and I wanted so bad to photo it....but it was too dark in the bar for the supercomputerphone to handle. Whatevs



I was pretty down all day. After coming back to work after 3 days, anybody will be in a funk. I love my job, don't get me wrong, but certain members of the public really irk me. I'm dreading learning adoptions because I'd rather help the animals directly than deal with the uneducated consumer public. I know I know, without people wanting to adopt, we'd never get any good dogs cats or rabbits homes, but there are just so..many...idiots. Speaking of idiots, do you thinkg declawing a cat is a good idea? This is what it looks like

they literally amputate part of the cats paws, with dog nail clippers. It would be like if a doctor took each one of your fingers and chopped each tip off, up to the first knuckle, with a pair or gardening clippers.
And laser declawing?



speaking of horrible things people do to animals they consider companions and completely different from those they choose to eat:
ear cropping


tail docking


people are so fucking naive and selfish.
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I want to move here


Portland is so much freaking cheaper than the bay area. I'm sad to leave here...I love it...but nobody can be consistently raped by landlords and continue to deal with it. I'm not a fucking sheep. I'm not here to accept the shitty hand thats dealt. I'm poor but only in the monetary sense. I'm never going to college but I'm not uneducated. I'm never going to fit the picket fence married 2.5 kids golden retreiver mini van soccer mom lifestyle. It's selfish...its inefficient...its not fair to the next generation.

So for everyone who is striving for the "american dream" OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES.

big business

So on sunday night we went up to 12 Galaxies and saw Big Business. All the pictures I took were freakin hirrble because I was too busy watching and listening because it was one of the best shows I've seen in a LONG time.


I like these. the calm after the storm.


Oh man. so damn good.

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I'm feeling better today but I just feel so rundown altogether. I've been abusing my body lately and I can really feel it. My job makes it so easy to want to walk out back for those breaks and get away from the stress inside for a cigarette and some bs with my coworkers. Its such a funny habit...its not at all like something I need, its more of a choice. I don't smoke at all when I'm at home. I don't smoke on my days off unless I'm driving somewhere. Its all bullshit. I'm sure my lung capacity is lessened by the scoliosis anyways, and smoking causes deterioration of the spine at a faster rate....so why do it? This is scoliosis like mine:


I have two curves...one in the lower back too. Its a genetic thing. My Mom had it, my sister has it, I have it. Can you imagine how tall I'd be if I were all straightened out? Anyways, it sort of crushes the ribs on one side together and fans out the ones on the other side, depending on where the curve is. It can also put more pressure on your heart and other organs, depending on how much your chest cavity space is altered. My hips are uneven, my shoulders too. I haven't had it checked on for about 10 years so who knows what kind of shape I'm in now.
So anyways....I really need to take care of myself better. Lessen the overall amount of toxins being ingested.

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Coming up...ummmm....today I'm off work and just hangin out..recovering...cleaning up....making stuff...cooking. reading.