I've been in Oakland for about a month now. Moved up here right at the same time as the shelter was moving into its brand new facility, I'd just gotten a big promotion, and Barrett and I were deciding to end our 4 year relationship.
Needless to say I had a breakdown.
As mentioned in previous posts, I'm very cognizant that I've cycled through ridiculous depression, anxiety, and self destructive periods of time in my life. I can't turn it off when it starts happening. Most of my life I didn't realize it was out of the ordinary. I didn't see a future and didn't want to. I never got help.
All of that, all ten years or more, everything thats gone on in the past few weeks..came to a head a few days ago.
After three really scary days, I finally made the step to help myself.
I called and set up my first counseling appointment, for tomorrow.
This will be hard...but things can only get better from here....
