Reflections

Good afternoon!!! Life has brought about quite a few amazing experiences lately. Little things, small occurences, minute details. People and information coming into view, sharing time, opening my eyes. I have an overwhelming sense of calm like I haven't felt in a very long time.

Sonny is still in Europe, until mid July. Being away from him for this long has been hard, but has also been, and continues to be, a pleasant walk down a path of self discovery and reflection for me. It's been years since I've been away from the person I love for any amount of time close to this, and this is the first time we've been without communication on a regular basis. Every few days or so he'll get to write me a few lines in an email...and wow, how I look forward to even that! I think it sort of forces you to really consider everything typed out to be important, and positive, and full of as much love as can be jammed into those tiny black letters on the screen. His words, his encouragement, and even his ramblings about how much fun they're all having, is total motivation for me. Why can't I live every day of my life to the absolute fullest? Why can't I chase my dreams, big and small? Why can't I be absolutely true to myself and openly cherish the people and things around me that make life worth living?

The answer is I CAN! And so should everyone else! I'm taking this mindset and running with it!!

Some of the people and things that mean so much to me right now:

Jenn and Scotty. These are two of my closest friends. They live an absolutely magical life that is full of love, laughter, and utter simplicity, in the smallest apartment I've ever been in. The size of their wonderful abode however, is no match for Jenn's fierce desire to have it be constantly filled with amazing friends, fresh homecooked meals, and thundering motion and dancing! The very definition of heart on your sleeve, they'd both drop everything in an instant if a friend was ever in need.


My lovely Katie...oh what I owe this lady! The first to welcome me with open arms to Oakland, and to take the time to tuck me under her wing and make sure I met all the amazing people that now fill my life. Another golden soul, I can count on Katie for anything...and I mean literally anything. She's also with a dude that is in a pretty successful touring band, and has been invaluable in teaching me how to hold on to the spirit of who I am during the tough times alone. Love her.


I've only just started this book, and already I can tell it will be one that makes a lasting impression on me. The author's struggles with ending relationships, depression, spirituality, and self image are already resonating deeply with me. Not to mention her writing style is incredibly fun and engaging! More thoughts on life's many quests of self discovery as I get deeper into this story...

I recently took part in a day-long training course written by The Arbinger Institute, which is entirely focused on helping individuals and groups to resolve conflicts within themselves and within interactions between individuals. They believe that conflict arises from a person's inability to view those around them as people, rather, they are viewing anyone that causes distress or disagreement as an object to be removed or broken, as a means to a selfish end, or as completely irrelevant to their life. The day was long and intense and brought up a lot of very strong emotions for me, as I applied the concepts to areas of my life where I'd consistently been blocking people out and deceiving my better intentions as a means of self-preservation. I took a lot from what I learned, and can literally already see small differences in the way I'm viewing those around me....all totally positive.

As well as getting rid of a lot of figurative baggage lately, I've also been trying to keep busy by parting with a lot of literal baggage. Life is so, so not about the accumulations of things, and I was beginning to get really bogged down walking past the same "stuff" piles everyday. Long put-off plans of living lighter are now coming much easier...and are actually pretty enjoyable...more to come on that a bit later.

For now, tell someone you love them today, and take a minute to thoroughly enjoy something simple :)

What's up lately?

Yesterday was my 27th birthday. I feel pretty decent about it. I've got major Peter Pan syndrome. I feel pretty decent about that as well. Life has actually been incredibly fun over the past year! So many new friends and experiences and horizons have presented themselves to me :) I've grown as a person...I've helped a lot of people...and I've found love in an incredible free spirit of a man.




The realtionship we have is a lot different than anything I've previously experienced....in a good way... I've learned so much about myself and how to be independant. His band does a LOT of touring, which forces us to really make the time we spend together when he's home count. The important parts of experiencing life and all its little wonders really stand out. What more could a person ask for?

<3 <3 <3

Alameda Shoreline

Eating as Living

I love food. I love to eat. I love the feeling you get when savoring something delicious, whether its from your own kitchen, a local food joint, or right out of the farmer's hands. I also love the way good, healthy food makes you feel.

Thinking back on my general health growing up, I can always remember feeling sluggish, struggling with depression and anxiety issues, insomnia, digestion issues, easy bruising, slow metabolism, and many other not so fun feelings. For most of my life, I really had never though about being able to change or control all of that, just with what I ate. I went vegan 6 years ago for ethical and polical reasons...my health was not the priority. With the required vegan research though, the facts about diet change and well being present themselves to you effortlessly.

I began to search out more organic foods, more whole foods, less processed and "filled" foods. Things began to feel better, slightly. It took a hell of a long time to slim down at all (which I didn't help with not exercising), but I was still dealing with the ongoing roller coaster ride of depression, anxiety, stay-in-bed-all-day-itis. I chalked it up to something chemically wrong with my brain and learned to deal with it.

Recently, however, I've been turned on to something else..and I must confess I'm pretty excited to see full results.

I've been doing more and more reading about the effects that wheat gluten can have on a person, if that person has any sort of intolerance to it. GUESS WHAT? Almost every single most common symptom of an allergy or intolerance was something I was experiencing.

This information came as a little ray of hope for me. I'm really tired of being tired. I want to be able to get the most out of the food I'm eating. I want to have the motivation and energy to get up and get moving in the morning. So, I thought, maybe eliminating this specific protein (which some think can actually go as far as acting like a neurotoxin) from my diet would allow my body to function a little more normally? Hell, I can cook everything I need cheaply (I barely need to alter my current fruit/veg heavy diet), and if I start feeling terrible, I'll know its not the gluten. So I gave it a try!

I'm currently on day 6...and let me tell you...I FEEL PHENOMENAL!

Some of the pros:
-More natural energy.
-I fall asleep normally, and at a decent hour
-I wake up easily, feeling rested
-More mental focus
-A HUGE rush of motivation to do 100000 things a day
-No abdominal discomfort

I'm waiting to see how this change will affect things like easy bruising, metabolism..those are longer term goals.

The only con I can see so far is that I need to eat more often. Which is easy enough (and really better for you) if done in smaller meals at regular intervals throughout the day.

So, needless to say, I'm stoked. I'll be keeping a close eye on how this will affect me in the longer term...and maybe someday when insurance and medical care is available to everyone I can actally get some definitive medical answers. For now, I'll feed myself to the best of my ability to live, keep doing research, and try to keep in compassionate balance with the world around me.

Hippies and Hellraisers...health to all!

Holy Sepulchre Cemetery - Hayward

I took a detour from my normal hectic 880 N route home this afternoon, and decided to head up Mission instead. It was a green, rolling, welcome change. The Holy Sepulchre Cemetery in Hayward caught my eye on the way... Life is short, I had to stop.